Posted in Coping

Having Kids Over 40

Having kids over 40 is a blessing. I was blessed with a bouncing (and I mean bouncing off the walls) baby boy at the ripe old age of 41. I couldn’t be more grateful to have finally given birth after being told that I can’t have kids for so long!

However, no matter how much I wanted and prayed for a child there was no preparation for this thing called Motherhood! I don’t care what age you are when you have your first (and in my case only) child, you will never be prepared for what lies ahead.

I used to have so many ideal thoughts of how it would be when and if I could ever become a Mom. SO MANY! Then to through into the mix of being an older introverted Mom makes my ideals even more laughable.

Here are a few of the misconceptions that I had on becoming a Mom…

  1. I was prepared to only breast feed until organic solid foods were introduced. Thanks to an infection, I could only painfully and barely produce enough breast milk by pumping to feed a mouse for just the first 18 days of his life! I’m not sure if it was the infection or the fact that I stopped breast feeding that made it so excruciatingly painful.
  2. There was the idea that I would never introduce a pacifier to my baby! That didn’t last long with a colicky baby. You do what you have to do when your sleep deprived.
  3. I believed there would be some sort of magical village just show up and surround me to help when needed. You know, like we always hear that it takes a village to raise a child. Not so much in my case. Introversion sometimes excludes you to the point of no return I think.
  4. I was a perfectionist and naive old Mom! I thought since I was now a stay at home Mom that it was my job to sleeplessly do absolutely everything around the house AND be the best Mom that I could be.
  5. I wanted to make sure he got just the right amount of socializing so I made my introverted self get out and take him where I needed to for that.
  6. I fought with the Doctors on why he was so colicky and finally they took X-Rays of his throat to show he had such a small airway for breathing! Time to take the tonsils and adenoids out on top of putting in the ear plugs. You never think you’ll see your baby suffer so much.
  7. I tried to give him alternative foods to what all the other kids were having because I knew down deep how bad artificial coloring/flavors/sugars, GMO’s, and etc. was for anyone to consume, let alone a growing child. That became a huge fight with his Dad.
  8. I never thought I would turn out to be one of those helicopter Moms! However, there was the need to be one because I was living with an alcoholic.
  9. The only thing I knew about postpartum depression was that Brooke Shields had it. Never in a million years would I think I would have it. Too many misconceptions surround postpartum depression!
  10. And then his Dad started in on the verbal abuse, yelling, and throwing things at me when he was just 5 or 6 months old. Who ever thinks that will happen to them?

You could say things were way off the ideal spectrum of finally becoming a first time Mom. Having kids over 40 or under 40 should never be as isolating as they were for me.

Now, I’m a single working old introverted Mom to a loving and sweet boy that I love more than anything in this world.

I sometimes feel as though I’m still young, but mostly I feel a little left out. A lot of the people I graduated from high school with are grandmothers now. Having kids over 40 is tough, but worth it!

Whether your having kids over 40 or under 40, things change so just be prepared to not be prepared.

I’m grateful to have a healthy boy!

What were your ideal thoughts of becoming a Mom that just didn’t turn out?

Thanks for listening.

Posted in Coping

Holiday Madness

Holiday Madness in the grocery stores are making me bonkers! I’m the type that shops for food at least 3-4 times a week. I’m a little grateful that most people don’t do that. Have you ever noticed that around the Holidays there are a ton of people scrambling in the grocery stores?

Can you imagine if everyone shopped 3-4 times a week? It would be constant chaotic madness! Maybe we would have more grocery stores, who knows!

Holiday Madness isn’t just at grocery stores! You would think that with how easy it is to shop online that the stores wouldn’t be so busy either.

It’s true I don’t like crowds or shopping! So, when the Holiday Madness comes around I cope by making it a point to TRY and stock up way beforehand. Bah-hum-bug.

I am one that never followed the norm by pretending to have to play nice with others just because it’s a Holiday! I have always felt like it’s just another day. Unfortunately it’s another day where most people are off work. Fortunately it’s usually a day where most places are closed.

I’m easing into minimalism and enjoy the idea of not having to be bombarded with consumerism every second of every day. The Holidays are so hyped up to get prepared to not buy for a day that I think a lot of people create unnecessary anxiety over a day where we really should just relax and let the day unfold.

That’s easy for me to say because I’ve given up on entertaining. I used to want to make food that I could enjoy and that everyone else would enjoy as well. I ended up making it harder on myself so that I could enjoy what I wanted.

For example, I like my gravy and stuffing for Thanksgiving. I used to make my gravy and buy store bought gravy for everyone else. I would make my stuffing and ask someone else to bring a stuffing. Just more dishes and work!

I like making lasagne for Christmas Eve. I don’t like making enough to feed a group of people. I like leftovers and my lasagne is more expensive to make because I use organic, make my own sauce, and have to use gluten free noodles.

Let’s get back to the importance of the Holidays and not so much the etiquette of it all. You know what I mean? Like when we feel obligated to bring a gift/passing dish/bottle of wine everywhere we go, having to get the cards out in the mail before it’s too late, and etc.

Don’t get me wrong, if you enjoy doing that then by all means knock yourself out.

The Grinch who stole Christmas is advertising, how we are so attached to our phone, and how others live their lives.

I’m grateful to be able to mostly stay away from the Holiday Madness!

What’s your gripe about the Holidays?

Thanks for listening and Merry Christmas!

Posted in Coping

Community

You can call it community, village, troop, neighborhood, group, crew, family, friends, your tribe, or posse. Whatever you call it, I feel like if your not involved then it’s hard to cope at times! I’m talking about being face to face, not over the internet. The playground photo is what I’ve found when I’ve taken our son to different playgrounds around town.

It’s super hard to open up and get real with people in the world. Everyone seems so busy (busy is such a bad 4 letter word!) and wants to keep things light. You know the conversation we all have with one another in passing…  Hi, how are you? Fine, and you? Great, the kids are getting so big! Good to see you, we should get together sometime.

That’s about all we get in the world today. Everyone is so busy with work, school, chores, errands, and etc. We tend to come straight home, pull into our garages and not socialize with our neighbors, let alone with our friends or family.

How can we get off the internet and get back into each others lives in person? This is coming from a person that enjoys A LOT of alone time. So, I get it! After a long day at work with people, then all the stuff we have to do in the home, and then to have to make time to  put on our best to socialize. UGH, it’s a lot.

What if we started getting real with each other and stop putting on our best to everyone. What if we let others see us in our jammies and saw our raw true selves. It sure would be less work and I bet we could learn a lot from each other!

What if we did something in this country where we didn’t have to have a dual income in order to survive. Maybe there would be more help around the house with a spouse who could afford to stay home, a kind family member, a friend, or neighbor.

Or maybe we try becoming less of a consumer city as I like to call it. Or join the minimalist lifestyle as others see it.

This is what I would like to see when I head to my neighborhood playground with our son…

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That seems more like a welcoming community to me!

It seems to me that back in the day when families weren’t spread out all over the country that there was more of a community that formed around families to help out when needed. Or maybe even when not needed, just some “nosy neighbors”. We call that Facebook now. Sad.

I’ve thought about creating a like-minded community that meets once a month. I’m not sure how or where yet. I’ve tried meet-ups which didn’t seem to work, so I’ll be praying on it for a little while and let you know how it all goes.

It’s not always easy to create new friendships, but reaching out to your community or church to find people to connect to is so important for personal growth!

I’m grateful to have a handful of friends that I can count on when needed.

Do you have a community in which you can thrive?

Thanks for listening!

Posted in Coping, Education

Integrative Nutrition

I am learning so much about myself through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. It’s comforting to know that there are so many like-minded people out there wanting to contribute to the well-being of others.

I’ve been wanting to find ‘my people’ since I left my job at Whole Foods Market in 2009! I’ve prayed for a very long time for guidance in finding my purpose and for opening my heart to find how I will be used to serve others. I’ve always known it’s somehow to create a community around wellness.

I don’t have all the answers and believe that everyone knows down deep how to attain their goals. Usually we just need a little guidance and support to help us stay on track and encourage us.

This course teaches great information about nutrition and the importance of exercise. However, it also teaches about other aspects of becoming a well rounded healthy person. It’s allowing us to dive into repairing relationships, evaluating our career choices, connecting or re-connecting with our spirituality, how to coach effectively, keeping our finances in check, the importance of cooking at home, finding joy, and much more! It’s truly integrated 🙂

I’m thrilled that I decided to dive into the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and would highly recommend it to anyone and everyone at any stage of life!

I ended up taking the accelerated classes so I started earlier than what I originally said in my last post. I’m exited to see what is in store for me every Monday when I get the next module to learn from.

No matter what your broadsided with on a daily basis, it’s never too late to continue working on yourself. Whatever that may look like for you. It’s different for everyone. Some people need a little boost in the exercises department (ME!), eating better (ME!), or just moving towards a better relationship with someone they were once close with (ME!).

Even though I’ve got a lot going on right now with moving in the middle of December, changing careers, and going through a divorce; I am making time for what I love through learning at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition!

I’m so grateful to have opened my heart and mind to this course!!

How do you make time for yourself?

Thanks for listening!

 

Posted in Coping, Education

Divorce

One of the things that I’ve learned while going through a divorce is that it’s finally time to make a little time for me! After our son of course. As my Pap-pap would say “after me, you go first” 😉

The best way I know how to make time for myself is to further my education so that I can finally make a living at doing what I enjoy!

I had been looking into the Integrative Nutrition course for a few years and even watched a few of their videos. One morning I hesitated on deleting one of their e-mail’s.

I had put off enrolling because I thought it was too much money to re-learn what I’ve already been studying. Also, I was never in the right frame of mind to do something like that for myself!

Well, that morning I noticed a heavy discount on taking the course and thought that it wouldn’t hurt to at least call them and ask a few questions.

I considered enrolling as an early birthday gift to myself. I thought now is as good a time as ever to begin again while I still have a little cushion from the sale of our home.

I want to be that good example to our son that will show him it’s never to late to go back to school and that you can make a living at doing something that you like to do!

The class officially begins on January 23 and I plan to keep you up to date on my journey.

My intentions with furthering my education is to build a career by meeting people where they are in their journey. Then to gently coach them to help themselves improve in the area of their lives that they wish to improve upon.

I feel like going through a divorce is hard enough on all involved and it’s time to look forward and create a joyful life for not only myself, but for those around me as well. I decided to face some of my fears head on in order to evolve.

I thought it was time to care enough for myself to stop hurting myself with self doubt and worry. I feel like I’ve been cooking my way out of depression and into a more well rounded individual. I have a long way to go and am anticipating a lot of growth through this year long course. I will always be learning and growing! I am finally to the point where I’m open to new experiences in my life.

I hope that by improving my health that it will be contagious for others to want to learn, grow, and improve their health. I hope you enjoy my new journey and watching me grow!

I’m grateful to have the money to do this and a job that will allow some time to be able to further my education while our son is in school.

Have you gone through a divorce and struggled with finding time for yourself?

Thanks for listening!

 

 

 

Posted in Coping

Motherhood

So much changes when you have a child. SO MUCH! I just want to talk about how we sometimes loose our way, but find it again when we reach Motherhood.

Have you ever thought about how you begin to dig out all the good qualities that you might have lost along the way to Motherhood? I’m talking about how you manifest and pull out of yourself all the manners and morals that you thought you may have lost in this big bad world.

It seems like when your baby begins to understand the ways of the world, you want to lead by example. I feel like before my child was born, I had lost my way a little by letting things go. Being a little less polite and becoming a bit cynical and hard.

Now, all those manners and kind acts have magically appeared again. It somehow becomes so very important to be and do better. It’s time to put on your role model big girl pants and raise a kind human being by becoming one yourself.

That’s what Motherhood brings out in you sometimes. It makes you want to be a better person so that you can raise your children by example. I find that Mothers will research all the right ways to raise a kind, loving, caring, and well rounded person that we become that person ourselves to be the role model our children need.

We turn our lives around and upside down to do whatever it takes to do what’s right by our children. We will let nothing stand in our way!

And then it seems that we suddenly find ourselves trying to  make a buck to provide a better life for our child than what we thought we had.

I come from a place of love when I say this… We cannot have it all and I’m tired of trying to have it all. I want time with our son. Not the hurried with my mind on something else kind of time, but the let’s sit on the floor and use our imaginations to play kind of time.

In order to have that kind of time I feel like I need that kind of time for me as well. I have to fill my quality time in order to give quality time. How does one do that in a  world that needs a two income family to have a roof over our head. I guess you have to find that village everyone is talking about it.

Sometimes, it can be a difficult transition for those you love to see you change. To see you stop being so cynical and start replacing kind words for what used to be such harsh words. You can only hope that they will grow with you and not grow apart from you.

I’m so grateful to have finally joined the club of Motherhood.

Have you noticed yourself or others change for the better when they became Mom’s?

Thanks for listening!

 

 

Posted in Coping

Passion

What’s your passion? I have heard a lot of people say to find your passion and then just do it. I think it’s what we say to our kids now a days as well. We used to be told that we can do anything we want to do. I don’t know maybe it’s just me.

What stops you from just doing your passion?

I think it’s all the obstacles that we place in front of ourselves.

Such as…

  • Telling ourselves that we are not professionally trained to be worthy of making any money with what we are most passionate about.
  • Finding time to follow our passion long enough to make some money. After all it takes time to make money to live and raise a family, how can there be any time left for MY passion.
  • What about the behind the scenes side of things? Let’s say you enjoy creating recipes, but cannot figure out how to work behind the scenes in the blogging world to get them out there in order to try to make a buck or two with it.
  • Trying to measure up to someone else’s expectation of what you are to do with your life.

It’s never as easy as just doing it, is it?

First, you have to dive into what your true passion is in life by doing some soul searching and leaving the nay sayers where they belong – behind you! Think back as to what you loved to play as a child and what was most important to you before you had others trying to influence you towards their expectations.

Secondly, you have to find the time, energy, resources, support, and money to move forward with following your passion.

We all have a purpose in this life and if we tune into what that purpose is with a little guidance then maybe we could find our passion, cultivate it, and make it what we do for a living.

I’m grateful that I know my passions.

Have you found a way around and through the obstacles to have followed your passion?

Thanks for listening!