Posted in Coping

Having Kids Over 40

Having kids over 40 is a blessing. I was blessed with a bouncing (and I mean bouncing off the walls) baby boy at the ripe old age of 41. I couldn’t be more grateful to have finally given birth after being told that I can’t have kids for so long!

However, no matter how much I wanted and prayed for a child there was no preparation for this thing called Motherhood! I don’t care what age you are when you have your first (and in my case only) child, you will never be prepared for what lies ahead.

I used to have so many ideal thoughts of how it would be when and if I could ever become a Mom. SO MANY! Then to through into the mix of being an older introverted Mom makes my ideals even more laughable.

Here are a few of the misconceptions that I had on becoming a Mom…

  1. I was prepared to only breast feed until organic solid foods were introduced. Thanks to an infection, I could only painfully and barely produce enough breast milk by pumping to feed a mouse for just the first 18 days of his life! I’m not sure if it was the infection or the fact that I stopped breast feeding that made it so excruciatingly painful.
  2. There was the idea that I would never introduce a pacifier to my baby! That didn’t last long with a colicky baby. You do what you have to do when your sleep deprived.
  3. I believed there would be some sort of magical village just show up and surround me to help when needed. You know, like we always hear that it takes a village to raise a child. Not so much in my case. Introversion sometimes excludes you to the point of no return I think.
  4. I was a perfectionist and naive old Mom! I thought since I was now a stay at home Mom that it was my job to sleeplessly do absolutely everything around the house AND be the best Mom that I could be.
  5. I wanted to make sure he got just the right amount of socializing so I made my introverted self get out and take him where I needed to for that.
  6. I fought with the Doctors on why he was so colicky and finally they took X-Rays of his throat to show he had such a small airway for breathing! Time to take the tonsils and adenoids out on top of putting in the ear plugs. You never think you’ll see your baby suffer so much.
  7. I tried to give him alternative foods to what all the other kids were having because I knew down deep how bad artificial coloring/flavors/sugars, GMO’s, and etc. was for anyone to consume, let alone a growing child. That became a huge fight with his Dad.
  8. I never thought I would turn out to be one of those helicopter Moms! However, there was the need to be one because I was living with an alcoholic.
  9. The only thing I knew about postpartum depression was that Brooke Shields had it. Never in a million years would I think I would have it. Too many misconceptions surround postpartum depression!
  10. And then his Dad started in on the verbal abuse, yelling, and throwing things at me when he was just 5 or 6 months old. Who ever thinks that will happen to them?

You could say things were way off the ideal spectrum of finally becoming a first time Mom. Having kids over 40 or under 40 should never be as isolating as they were for me.

Now, I’m a single working old introverted Mom to a loving and sweet boy that I love more than anything in this world.

I sometimes feel as though I’m still young, but mostly I feel a little left out. A lot of the people I graduated from high school with are grandmothers now. Having kids over 40 is tough, but worth it!

Whether your having kids over 40 or under 40, things change so just be prepared to not be prepared.

I’m grateful to have a healthy boy!

What were your ideal thoughts of becoming a Mom that just didn’t turn out?

Thanks for listening.

Author:

Integrative Wellness Community

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